Calm Down

There are certain seasons of life that nobody can adequately prepare you for.

At 34 years old, I never expected one of those seasons to be sudden menopause.

You can read the pamphlets. You can hear the doctors explain it. You can Google the symptoms. None of that prepares you for waking up one day and realizing your body, emotions, and mind are operating differently than they were before.

One surgery changed everything.

An ovarian torsion sent me into menopause overnight.

The physical recovery was one thing. The emotional recovery was something entirely different.

My patience seemed shorter. My emotions felt louder. Small frustrations felt bigger than they actually were. I found myself reacting instead of responding. My thoughts could race ahead of wisdom before I even realized what was happening.

Looking back, I can see how dangerous disappointment can become when it is left unmanaged.

Not because disappointment destroys us.

Because disappointment often tempts us to make decisions that do.

I recently came across a quote that stopped me in my tracks:

“Almost every unkind word we’ve spoken, or unwise decision we’ve made, could have been avoided or dramatically reduced if we had been more patient or less impulsive.”

That sentence felt painfully accurate.

How many arguments began with a quick reaction?

How many relationships suffered because of assumptions?

How many regrets started with words we wish we could take back?

The older I get, the more convinced I become that emotional regulation is not simply maturity. It is stewardship.

Life is unpredictable.

Some surprises bring joy.

Others bring disappointment.

Disappointment is what happens when reality collides with expectation.

It is the promotion that never comes.

The relationship that doesn’t work.

The prayer that seems unanswered.

The healing that takes longer than expected.

The dream that requires more waiting than we planned for.

Disappointment often follows investment.

You gave your energy.

You gave your effort.

You gave your time.

You cast your line into the water hoping for something in return.

Then you come up empty.

That is exactly why John 21 speaks to me so deeply.

The timing of the story matters.

Jesus had already been crucified.

Peter had already denied Him three times.

The man who boldly declared he would never leave Jesus had done the very thing he swore he would never do.

Imagine the disappointment.

Not disappointment in circumstances.

Disappointment in himself.

John 21:3 says, “Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing.”

For years I read that as a simple statement.

Now I hear something different.

I hear a man returning to what he knew before Jesus called him.

I hear someone trying to make sense of failure.

I hear someone carrying shame.

I hear someone disappointed with himself.

Many of us know exactly what that feels like.

When we’re disappointed, we often go backward.

Backward to old habits.

Backward to old mindsets.

Backward to old versions of ourselves.

Peter had left fishing to follow Jesus. Yet in the aftermath of failure and confusion, fishing suddenly seemed familiar.

The irony is heartbreaking.

He fishes all night and catches nothing.

Nothing.

The thing he returned to could no longer sustain him.

There was nothing back there.

I think many of us have discovered the same thing.

The old coping mechanisms don’t work anymore.

The old identities don’t fit anymore.

The old ways of thinking no longer produce life.

What struck me most is that Jesus did not leave Peter there.

While Peter sat in disappointment, Jesus came looking for him.

That is the beauty of the Gospel.

Jesus does not wait for us to figure everything out.

He meets us in our disappointment.

He meets us after the failure.

He meets us after the impulsive decisions.

He meets us after the words we wish we could take back.

Psalm 103:4 says that He “redeems your life from destruction.”

Not just circumstances.

Our lives.

Our thinking.

Our reactions.

Our tendency to run backward when life hurts.

If there is one thing God has been teaching me lately, it is this:

Disappointment cannot destroy your future.

The decisions you make while disappointed can.

That lesson has challenged me in ways I didn’t expect.

Whether I am navigating recovery, learning how to live in a body that changed overnight, or simply facing the ordinary disappointments of life, God continues to remind me that wisdom often looks like slowing down.

Pausing before speaking.

Waiting before reacting.

Praying before assuming.

Choosing patience over impulsiveness.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is simply calm down long enough to hear God speak.

Not every feeling deserves a reaction.

Not every disappointment deserves a decision.

Not every painful moment requires us to go backward.

Peter went back to fishing.

Jesus called him forward.

And He is still doing the same thing today.